yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
