it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
