i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
and she was petting her beer can
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize