I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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