We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
