grandma shit on top of the toilet
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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