dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
