I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
