after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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