i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
