Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
