awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
