I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
