I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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