i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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