btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I want her autograph on my taint
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
