sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
