i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I will pee on everything he values.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
