no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
