you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
