i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Houston, we have a squirter
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
