i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
