I need help removing her.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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