the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
