when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
