I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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