yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
