So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
