I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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