I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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