my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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