Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm passing your future prison.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
