He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
