Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
