So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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