I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize