i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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