Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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