Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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