is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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