so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
