remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
