I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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