U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think my fart just growled at me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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