he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She even gives head with a lisp.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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