Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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