im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
