Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
