Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
