My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
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