You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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