Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize