I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
