So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
