It's Friday. Sex?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He shit in the fireplace
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
