Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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