thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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