It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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