Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
