he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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