he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i now understand why vodka
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
