ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
